


Rollercoaster ride

by Gayasshit_ye_9



Category: Butterfly Soup (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Romance, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gayness, Hurt/Comfort, gonna have to patient with the romance in this one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2020-01-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:35:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22253515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gayasshit_ye_9/pseuds/Gayasshit_ye_9
Summary: Noelle finds herself having a weird rollercoaster of emotions around Akarsha, and as time passes the ride seems to get wilder. From the highest of the high in happiness and to the lowest of the low in fear and angst.
Relationships: Akarsha/Noelle (Butterfly Soup), Diya/Min-seo (Butterfly Soup)
Comments: 16
Kudos: 74





	1. One way ticket

**Author's Note:**

> I’m sorry in advance for this probable mess, idk how to write extended, long stories where stuff happens 
> 
> Enjoy i guess

‘Twas an early morning before school, Noelle was casually reading next year textbooks when her phone chimed. She ignored it, mainly because her mother could barge in at any moment, she would not like it Noelle if was looking at her phone instead of studying. 

Her phone makes a sound again, and again. Noelle rolled her eyes before finally picking up her phone and checking it. An immediate groan escaped her mouth as she saw who it was.

**Yaoi seme:** Ay Frenchman

**Yaoi seme:** ayyyy

**Yaoi seme:** frenchman

**Yaoi seme:** ayy Frenchman do you copy

**Noelle:** what do you want?

**Yaoi** seme: Come outside:)

**Noelle:** Why?

**Noelle:** my mom is home, and it’s too early to go to school

**Yaoi seme:** …

**Yaoi seme:** wait

**Noelle:** for what?

Akarsha didn’t reply, for several minutes. Naturally Noelle got worried, what could Akarsha be up to this time? What kind of possible disaster that may end up including her mother is she about to start?

**Noelle:** Akarsha? 

**Yaoi seme:** Dont worry frenchman i got this! :)

**Noelle:** What are you talking about?

It went quiet again, no signs of life on the other side. Suddenly she heard grunting and panting from her window. She was confused as she got up and went to her window. To her surprise but at the same time not, there was an Akarsha climbing up her damn wall and into her window. 

"Why the hell did you climb into my window?? You could be reported fo-" Noelle was cut of when her friend nearly tackles her in a hug. Saying she was taken by surprise was an understatement, her eyes went wide and she had to use all her force not to fall.

"What the hell, get off me you imbecile!" She whisper-yelled, pushing Akarsha off of her. Still she couldn't stop her heartbeat from increasing and her cheeks flushing slightly. What the hell was this feeling? She pushed the thought away, focusing on not smiling and giving her friend a hit to the shoulder. Said friend still had a grin plastered to her face.

“Don’t be so rude, Frenchman! So mean today.” Akarsha faked being hurt and put a hand over her mouth in shock. Noelle just rolled her eyes, for a split second she forgets any worries about her mom. Keyword: split second, it felt like the next one her mother was already on her way upstairs. Sheer panic crossed her whole body and she looked at Akarsha as if they were both gonna die. With no warning whatsoever, the tan girl takes a sprint in the other direction and basically jumps out the window. Noelle’s hands shoots up to her face in shock and worry. 

Despite this, she quickly finds her textbook again and sits down to hide any suspiciousness for her mother, she can’t be seen staring at anything else that school. For the most part, her mother left her alone without too many stern looks, then she just nods and leaves. 

This made Noelle get up and rush to the window. Her chest tight with worry, she peeks out, no sign of Akarsha on the lawn. It takes another second to see her friend clinging for her life on the outer part of the windowsill, her face strained in slight pain. Without another moment’s hesitation, Noelle reached out her hand for Akarsha to grab. Her anxiety slightly lightens and her heart flutters when she notices a weak smile and blush on Akarsha’s face. She quickly brushes it off her mind.

Akarsha didn't act any different than usual when they got to school, sometimes teasing Diya or Min as they were all over each other as usual. But she mostly gave attention in the form of jokes and pranks to Noelle, something even Noelle kind of enjoyed but would never admit to her impossible friend. 

For some reason she was not that different in PE, just doing exactly what she was supposed to. This did not last for long though, as it took Noelle one break to the side to have an Akarsha slide in from the side on her knees and hugging her hips and butt. Not only did Noelle flush like crazy, but it took her a good second or two to scold and push her friend away when she swore she could hear Akarsha faintly mumbling:

"~Le butt~" she whispered it with the most satisfied UwU face Noelle had ever seen on her, it took a good dose of will to push all the feelings away and be angry at her. 

For a split second she could swear she saw a familiar head of hair disappearing from the window nearby. 

It turns out she was right, when her and Akarsha went to lunch Min was absolutely losing her shit. Diya giggled beside her, but nothing more.

"Skshdksjhsk ya'll can't even keep your hands to yourself in PE" Min almost fell of the table- wait no she did fall off the table, Diya was thankfully there to catch her and deliver a tiny smooch to the top of her head. 

While their friends were losing their shit and being as gay as ever, Akarsha was laughing with them and poking Noelle on the shoulder. All Noelle could do was flush and wonder how Min used a keyboard smash in a verbal conversation. As well as why so much happened inside her around Akarsha. 

"Hey Frenchman, why so quiet?" Akarsha asked with a grin, poking Noelle on her shoulder. When this didn't get her attention, she flicked her  crush  friend's head. 

"Is frenchmanis in love?" The question startled Noelle while she was rubbing the side of her head where Akarsha had flicked her.

"Not sure how you deluded yourself into thinking that." She nearly yelled, smacking Akarsha hard. Fake hurt landed on Akarsha’s face as her hand shot up to her mouth.

“How mean!” She exclaimed. This made Noelle groan and get up, trying her best to hide her face while packing her stuff.

“Whatever, I’ll head to class.” She mumbled, lightly blushing but hiding it to her best ability. Diya and Min just shared a knowing look, the latter rolling her eyes but smiling either way. 

  
  
  



	2. So it begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To escape her bad thoughts, Akarsha escapes somewhere to be alone. What happens when Noelle goes looking for her and eventually finds her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This rollercoaster ride is gonna go up, my friend

Class felt like it had lasted an eternity, still there was over 40 minutes left. Akarsha got impatient, the teacher still had not given them they’re finals back. This was not the biggest problem though, she honestly didn't want to know her results, she knew it didn’t go too well. 

During the eternal lesson she found herself folding various origami pieces, only to throw them on Noelle who sat a few seat away from her. Every time she did, her victim would send her a death glare then turn around again. But eventually this got old, and she couldn't think of anything else to do. All she could do was finally settle down and listen to the constant talk from the teacher, as well as pages flipping, pencils writing and quiet coughing now and then. 

Her focus actually caught on the teacher when he mentioned their finals and picked up a stack of paper, clear pen markings all over the pages. Akarsha felt her adrenaline kick in, feeling her palms become sweaty and her body shaky, she dropped her eyes onto her desk.

It felt as if it took the teacher an eternity to give away just one paper, when he came to her she could swear her face had drops of sweat trickling down her temples. The moment he placed her paper down, her heart sank and her breath got uneven. How did it end like this?

Her thoughts rushed.  _ How did it go this bad? How could I fail so bad??  _

Part of her wasn't even aware of what it was doing, yet she got up quietly and exited the classroom without saying anything. The moment the door had closed, she started jogging, then running, then nearly sprinting. She just needed to get out, be alone. 

.

Noelle had completely gone through and noting down the few mistakes she made when the bell rang. As everyone was quick to pack up and leave to have lunch, she took her time. She really didn't have a reason to rush, what would be the point? Same with after school, the longer she could postpone telling her mother she got an A instead of an A+, the better. When she headed for the door, Akarsha was nowhere in sight, but her stuff was still there. Noelle didn't think much of it, there was probably a logical reason for it, even if that reason was pranks.

At the lunch table, Diya and Min were sitting close to each other and holding hands under the table. Min was showing off a new knife, while her gf was smiling and paying all her attention to her. 

Still no Akarsha though, yet it still didn't alarm Noelle, her friend was always unpredictable. When she sat down, there wasn't much conversation, but Diya found interest in her grapes and how Noelle's class was.

"Where's Akarsha?" Diya asked after a good 10 minutes had passed. She looked to Noelle, then Min, but only got confused and kind of careless shrugs from both of them.

"I don't know, probably getting into trouble." Noelle reasoned, earning a slightly worried face from Diya.

"We should probably look for her.." Diya replied, looking at her like a slightly sad puppy. 

_ Damnit _ , Noelle thought, she couldn't say no to Diya like that. But she really didn't want to get up and look right now. After a few seconds of thinking about it, part of her wanted to see Akarsha, she couldn't figure out why.

"Fine, I'll go look." She said shortly, packing her lunch and getting up. She had no idea where to look but she had to look somewhere. 

As she was walking towards the classrooms, a slight breeze plays with her braid. From a distance she could hear birds chirping happily, freely, beautifully. If only she was that free, no worries, no parents, no constant work to hold her down. She shakes the thought away. 

As she gets closer to the auditorium there’s a faint sound coming from it, like a strange whisper of song that was barely audible. Yet even from such a distance, it still sounded so beautiful. 

Entering the auditorium, she still wasn’t in the main hall, yet the song was already much louder. The first hint of lyrics shocked Noelle. 

“ _ Feels like we're on the edge right now _

_ I wish that I could say I'm proud _

_ I'm sorry that I let you down _

_ L-l-let you down”  _

Each word sung held a strong pain that only could come from someone as far down as broken. For every step Noelle took towards the main room, the voice only got more powerful, more pained. Still, it was some of the most beautiful voices she had ever heard, her heart got faster but lighter, a tiny smile even made it to her lips. 

  
  


It was when she got to see inside the huge hall that she was nearly startled. The angelic voice belonged to no one else than Akarsha herself. She sat there on the edge of the stage with a sad expression, singing her heart out. Noelle’s heart sped up and her face felt warm, her figure carefully leaning on the doorframe.

“ _ Okay, let's put my fake face on and pretend now _

_ Sit around and talk about the good times _

_ That didn't even happen _ ” 

Akarsha delivered the words perfectly, showing off how surprisingly good she is at rapping. Yet the lyrics was sung as if it actually applied to her, like they were originally put together by her. A slight heavy feeling dug into Noelle’s chest, for a moment she wished there was something she could do to remove that pain from Akarsha’s voice. 

“ _ I'm sorry _

_ I'm so sorry now _

_ I'm sorry _

_ That I let you down” _

The song and the angelic echoes dies down. With a heavy sigh, Akarsha hops down from the stage. As she’s about to turn and leave, she’s startled by the figure standing there. All kinds of panic rush through her, it only lessened a little bit when she realised who it was. 

“Noelle?!” She nearly yelled in shock. 

“How long have you stood there?” She questioned, worried she might have been spied on for a long time. Noelle looked kind of startled too, but more nervous. 

“I- not for a long time,” Noelle stuttered, taking a few careful steps closer to her  crush  friend. Her cheeks could not stop flushing, and her heart had yet to calm down. 

“You sing well.” She said shortly, yet with a hint of sweetness. From this, she could swear Akarsha blushed for a second. The silence didn’t last long.

“Wow frenchman, I didn’t know you could be nice, if you went any further I might’ve thought you liked me.” Akarsha grinned while teasing her friend. 

“Why would you draw to such a ridiculous conclusion?” Noelle asked annoyed, slowly regaining control of her emotions. 

“Because you totally dOOooOoOoOo!” The tan girl laughed before coming closer to Noelle, really close. Noelle felt her control slip right away again. Her cheeks becoming crimson and her hands shaking, not sure what to do. 

“Ok, I’m out,” She managed to stutter out before backing off again. Suddenly she turned and looked at Akarsha again.

“Also, you should let Diya know you’re not dead, I’m going to head to class.” With that, Akarsha was left alone. She felt a bit empty, but at the same time better after Noelle of all people had found and talked to her. For a few weeks now, she had wondered what this feeling was, this feeling she got everytime she thought of or were around Noelle. There was no way she could be… that she could be crushing on her best friend… right?

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You might have expected some gayness but you gonna have to be more patient than that, sorry not sorry >:3c


	3. Falling towards rock bottom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While working on their homework, Akarsha explains why she went out in the middle of class to be alone. Noelle fails to show basic human compassion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a pretty short chapter, there wasn't much detail to add. Also I'm not the type who can stretch out a chapter with an extra 1000 words with atmosphere and emotions (wth even are emotions). 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Her eyes couldn't focus on her work. They kept wandering back to the same place, the same person. Examining her dark eyes which always were so focused yet had a twinkle in them, her birthmark right by her right eye which always served as a lovable characteristic. Akarsha found herself admiring everything about the person in front of her, even though she's seen her a million times before it's almost like everything is entirely new today. 

The longer she looked, the more she noticed the little things. How Noelle flipped her braid back every time she finished a task, how her handwriting was always neat, how a tiny smile crawled to her mouth every time she got something correct (which was about all the time). Akarsha almost got lost in everything she saw, not even thinking about what she was supposed to do. Her homework could wait.

“I know you’re staring at me, Akarsha.” Noelle’s words caught Akarsha off guard. A warmth creeping up on her cheeks and eyes going wide for a second.

“Whatever are you talking about, Frenchman, I’m not staring at anyone.” Akarsha raised her arms and shoulders in a shrug, covering her face with a grin. At this Noelle rolled her eyes, shaking her head slightly before continuing her work.

Silence fell again over the empty library. The afternoon sun covered part of their table and work, as a careful breeze passed the windows now and then birds sang joyfully in the nearby trees. Akarsha relaxed slightly, but couldn’t hide the thoughts at the back of her mind, the sight of Noelle also helped, still not enough. 

Her mind visited all kinds of angles of the problem, the grade, her parents, herself. How would her parents react to the grade, to her disappointing results. To how much of a disappointment she is. The more her thoughts wondered, the heavier feeling she got in her chest. 

“Akarsha?” Noelle asked, a hint of confusion in her voice. Akarsha looks up and suddenly realises what she was doing, she was crying. Tears slowly falling onto her notebook. 

“What is it, Frenchman?” She choked out, barely able to speak. 

“You’re crying… your notebook will get wet.” Noelle mumbled. Akarsha was out of words for a few seconds.

“Our last final.. It- it went really bad,” She started, wiping a tear with her windbreaker and tried to focus on her breathing.

“That’s why I left the classroom.. To be alone… I sing to let off steam.” Akarsha said in a mumble, looking down. Still flipping the problem around in all kinds of directions to find more wrongs, more reasons to hate herself.

“I fail to see how this is an issue, it’s out of your hands. Now can you please not cry so loud, I’m trying to concentrate.” Noelle deadpanned, still focused on her work, not even looking up. 

“Wow, Noelle, I swear you have as much fucking compassion as a rock.” She struggled to speak over her tears. Immediately, she started packing up her stuff, hands shaking but she kept going anyways. When she got up, Noelle’s expression was surprised and maybe even with a hint of concern, yet she didn’t get up or say anything. 

When she reached the door and had stepped outside, she sped up. She didn’t know where, not home, not to Noelle, so she really couldn’t think of anywhere to go. Still she kept walking, nearly jogging. Her tears kept streaming, her breath was ragged and uneven.

.

Noelle was speechless. She was still holding her pen but with a shaky hand. She could feel her chest and heart tighten. Of course this is how things would play out, her friend was hurt and crying, yet here she was being as uncaring as always. Inside she knew she had fucked up. On top of that the feeling of regret started aching on her mind. 

She knew she had to find Akarsha, and she knew she had to find her soon. She knew she had to apologize, but how? How could she? The whole emotion and sincerity thing was always frowned upon by her parents.  _ Keep it together _ , her mother always told her.  _ You can’t focus if you let your emotions take over _ , in some way she was right. But her heart, and her mind wondered if it was worth keeping it together if it ended up hurting those close to her. Akarsha was one of her closest, so close she sometimes even questioned her feelings. 

With a shaky hand she started packing her stuff. Anyone who knew her would probably question her if they saw how unneatly she packed. Papers stuffed into her notebook, pencils put the wrong way in her pencil case, tears pushing through but she blinked them away. Noelle couldn't care less right now, she had to find Akarsha. Now. 

  
  



	4. A close call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noelle knew she had to find Akarsha, yet she had no idea where to look

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I'm like... so happy with this. I feel like I actually got some emotion in this. So without further ado, enjoy! ^-^

Noelle steps out of the library, heart beating fast, stressing. She looked around to see if she could spot her, but it was of no use.  _ Where could she have gone?  _ Thoughts rushed, so did her heart. Not because she had run, but because she was worried like crazy. Akarsha had never looked or sounded so broken down before.

She knew she had limited time due to how her mother only approved her studying with Akarsha for a few hours.

As she was walking down the road, she thought of possible places Akarsha could have gone. Immediately, she could remove Akarsha's house and her own from the list in her mind, those are probably the last places she’d want to go. However, after that she had to admit she didn’t actually know that much about her friend, especially not where she would go to hide away. Around her birds were chirping as happily as ever, her wish to be free returning for a moment. The sun warming so nicely, yet it was no use against her constant uneasy feeling right about then.

She decided to call Diya, when she started to speak her voice was surprisingly shaky.

“Hey Diya, have you seen Akarsha?” She asked while still walking, slowly putting the school further and further behind her. Diya was a little surprised by the question but sadly shared with her friend that she had in fact not seen Akarsha since school ended. Noelle was kind of hasty to end the conversation, yet did not have the heart to cut her childhood friend off when she talked about a dog she saw on her way home. She did say goodbye eventually, Diya giving her a bit of good luck before hanging up.

Noelle was even more stressed when she hung up. For a second she decided against calling Min, but called anyway, as she could use all the help she could. Min answered pretty fast but also didn’t know. Before they hung up Min had to tease her for going after her crush, Noelle just scolded her a little bit before hanging up. 

A thought suddenly hit her when she had walked for a while more. The auditorium. To her knowledge, it was the perfect place to sing. Akarsha's words played through her head again. ' _ I sing to let off steam _ '. Just the thought of the tears in her eyes and voice was enough to send her running to the auditorium. She had to find Akarsha, she had to. 

There was a reason Noelle never ran and would avoid it at all costs. When she was just about halfway to the school grounds, her legs were nothing but jelly, she could barely breathe and her throat was burning.

Despite this, an inner fight was more important, fixing her mistake. For years, school has been everything and making small mistakes was a big deal. Now, during high school she had slowly started to realize that maybe, just maybe, hurting the people who care about her was a bigger deal. After Akarsha ran away it really hit her, and it hit her hard. 

Noelle was positive she was about to pass out when she reached the Auditorium, stumbling into the building she had to stop and catch her breath several times. Her heaving and grunting echoed between the walls, everything else was silent. She didn't know silence could hurt so much, maybe it wasn't even the silence just the likelihood that Akarsha wasn't here. The thought of not finding the one person she needed right now burned more than her throat and lungs. Tears pushed at her eyes but she blinked them away. She couldn't break yet, couldn't stop now. 

Her heart sank when she found no sign of Akarsha. Nowhere in the entire room or bathroom was there even a trace of life.  _ 'Where else could she be?' _ She thought to herself, knowing well she could not find the answer herself. 

The idea suddenly hit her, she felt absolutely idiotic for not thinking about it before now, she could just call Akarsha. As she took out her phone and almost lost it in the hurry she dialed in her friend's number. 

.

Her heart nearly jumped out of her chest when her phone started vibrating in her pocket. At first, she ignored it, she couldn't keep a conversation now. Her ringtone started over again and she took it out hesitantly, shaky hands holding it up to see who's calling. 

Through her tears she could barely see the name displayed, but thankfully the picture helped her. However, it just made her cry more, tears falling out like a river. Memories flowing back, when she sneakily caught the picture of Noelle, it was right after she had made a joke. The photo made it clear that she was trying to hide a smile, trying and failing to not blush. Akarsha had to run away from an angry Noelle screaming to  _ 'delete the photo, you pebble!'  _

Oh, how her emotions went wild when she was around or just thought about Noelle. Everything about her lacked compassion, yet in some way, she could portray it through nearly invisible signs that made Akarsha nearly faint. Tiny smiles that she hid away, hitting her softly when scolding her for being immature. Everything about her was just breathtaking… but it couldn't cover up the incredible hurt and pain that she felt in all of her. 

It couldn't cover the fact that one of the only people she truly trusted and cared for, wouldn't even show interest in her pain, wouldn't even care for how she was. All there was in her mind was just grades, hiding emotions and dragging everyone to prove she's right. 

So she let it go to voicemail, couldn't face her now. When it went quiet again she threw the phone lightly onto the grass beside her. Her back leaning against the tree again, she took a deep breath to try and calm down, but she was right back at sobbing uncontrollably in a second. She could barely breathe through her whole body shaking. 

It only took some time before her phone went off again, from where she sat she could see it was still Noelle. She turned the phone around to hide the screen. 

.

A deep sigh and some more tears left her eyes as she was sent to voicemail again. All kinds of new worries awoke inside of her. She needed to breathe, she couldn't breathe. Staggering over to the stage, she climbed up and sat down. More tears ran down as she let memories come back to her. 

Akarsha was on the seat next to her, sipping on her boba tea and grinning widely. Her eyes were covered by those ridiculous green glasses that resembled the eyes of an alien. As she spoke her fake mustache was moving with her lips and had fallen a bit off at the side. Her own shaved ice was uninteresting when she sat beside Akarsha, through all the jokes, bad pickup lines, immature comments and random questions it all was truly ok. She always found that the best way to hide her emotions was to scold her friend and seem disinterested.

It seemed like it worked to hide from Akarsha, but the only person she couldn't hide it from was herself. Her brain couldn't deny what her heart was always expressing every time they were together. How it sped up, sent more blood to her face, and tugged her lips up into a smile. On top of that, it was even worse every time any physical contact was involved. Everything going faster and hotter inside her. So she always pulled away. 

Eventually, she snapped out of her thought, putting her face in her hands and feeling the tears that just kept going no matter how hard she tried to hold them back. With a sigh she looked outside, only a short time was left before the sun went down. And she only had a short time left to find Akarsha. Just the thought of running out of time made her cry even more.

Noelle went out of the auditorium, her hope almost gone but she didn’t want to go home. In this whole mess though, there were still two places she hadn’t looked, the park and the baseball field. Both of which were close to each other, and to the school grounds. Her cheeks still wet and her eyes probably redder than tomatoes, she started walking towards her now set destination. 

It was already getting dark and Noelle had just gotten to the baseball field. It brought great and annoying memories but memories nonetheless, however, there was no time to look back at it all now. She looked around her wildly and in a hurry, as her heart found it more and more urgent to find her. No luck. She wasn’t there. Her only alternative left was the park, she almost wanted to say a prayer before going, but didn’t because ultimately it wouldn’t do anything when there was no god to receive it anyway. 

A few crickets had their fun in the surrounding area as she walked towards the park. Their sounds were usually relaxing, especially on long study nights (which occurred almost every day), yet today she needed to focus and really there was nothing else she’d let herself do. 

Noelle let herself be distracted for a second by letting the wind cool down her face and play with her hair a bit. She immediately kept walking, but suddenly when she looked to the right there was a figure sitting under a rather large oak. Noelle could recognize it, she had taken a liking to that old tree since her childhood, she had even sat there reading sometimes. So seeing now that the person she was looking for was likely under it, brought her indescribable amounts of relief. It took her a few seconds to make sure it actually was who she thought it was. 

The moment she was sure, her legs went running without her even thinking. They just went as fast as they could all the way over to her. Her head couldn’t think of any words to utter the moment she arrived right in front of Akarsha, so she just plopped down on her knees right in front of her, looking at the half-dark features in her friend’s face. 

“I thought I wouldn’t find you,” She started, her snarky voice far away. All she wanted to do was make things up to her friend.

“Akarsha, I- I want to say I’m sorry.” She continued in the most sincere tone she could. A hand made its way to rest on Akarsha’s knee. Akarsha almost flinched at the contact.

“After what you said, all you can say is sorry?” The hurt was so clear in her voice that it nearly cut Noelle’s heart in half. She looked down, didn’t know how to explain, she couldn’t, to be honest, but she had to try. She had to try for her friend’s sake.

“Look, I know and realize that I’ve always been distant, snarky, and sometimes even rude. But today, when you stormed out, I realized that-” Tears started to flow again, she had to stop because of a sob that was impossible to speak over. She put her other hand on Akarsha’s other knee and with a deep breath, she kept going.

“I’ve been taught that feelings are a weakness, and that school was all that mattered. I realize that this is not an excuse for anything, but when you stormed out, it made me realize how much of a bigger deal it is to care about those who care about me. And Akarsha, I- I really do care about you.” Noelle choked out, voice weak and quiet. As she looked at Akarsha, she was also crying. 

“Look, all I can say is that I’m sorry, cause I truly am. Even if it seems like it sometimes, I don’t hate you, that’s so far away from the truth. “ She finished, eventually getting up to sit down next to her friend. Almost immediately, a head leaned on her shoulder. Both of them closing their eyes. Akarsha was still shaking, so was Noelle. But slowly they both started to calm down. 

“Noelle I- don’t hate you either. It hurt a lot to have my feeling just dismissed like that, but…. I believe you and forgive you,” Akarsha speaks slowly, and in between sobs. Noelle knew her shirt would get wet but she didn’t really care.

“Thanks for finding me.” The tan girl said quietly, snuggling further onto Noelle. Eventually also putting a hand over her  crush  friend’s hand.

Noelle flinched and pulled her hand away, but Immediately regretted it, especially by the surprised flinch from the girl beside her. She grabbed Akarsha’s hand and intertwined their fingers. Closing her eyes again and feeling the pressure on her shoulder return.

“I have to return home soon, my mother will kill me if I come home late..” She said after a while. Looking down at their hands softly resting in the grass between them. 

“Yeah... I know.” Akarsha replied, lifting her head up. Also looking down at their hands. 

.

The two girls kept their hands intertwined on their way home. Akarsha swinging their arms back and forth, her signature grin returning the longer they walk. Eventually, they arrived at Akarsha’s house. Before going through the gate, they turned to each other. Both having a small sprinkle of crimson on their nose and cheeks. 

“Thanks for being here, Noelle.” Akarsha smiled, her voice jokingly but also as sincere as it could be. 

“I’m always here. But don’t think I won’t deny all the sweet things I said if you tell about it tomorrow or ever for that matter.” Noelle replied, her snarky voice back. Making the girl in front of her grin even more.

“Oh, there’s no ‘if’ here, Frenchman.” This only earned an eye roll but soon also a startled girl as Akarsha gave her a short but firm hug. Noelle was still a bit shocked as her friend made her way to her house.

  
All the way home, Noelle was finally relaxed and could enjoy all the sounds and sights around her without feeling any guilt. When her  crush  friend was fine, she was too. Though she probably would never admit it, there was hardly anything that mattered more to her than Akarsha (well except Diya, and even Min, but that was beside the point). 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so I was listening to music and I just thought of how many of girl in red songs that apply and fit for Akarsha. Songs like "4am", "I need to be alone" and "summer depression" where she questions her existence and meaning and is overall just a really depressed bean. But what I found most beautiful with my random thought was how songs like "we fell in love in October", "watch you sleep" and "I wanna be your girlfriend" sounds so much like she finally found a meaning in the dark in the form of a girl like Noelle. Btw if you haven’t heard of girl in red I recommend her music.   
> Anyways sorry for rambling, hope you enjoyed the chapter! :D


	5. In a fucking loop, but a gay loop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> School was quieting down before summer so their class went on a field trip to an amusement park.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took a while man. Also, I cannot believe this is the longest chapter out of all of them, but here we are.  
> Enjoy! :D

Summer was approaching fast, most finals and whatever other school bs (as worded by Min) were over. Therefore, their class went on a field trip to an amusement park that actually wasn’t too far away. Luckily the day chosen turned out to be a beautiful, sunny day. 

As they gathered by the entrance and the teacher set a time where they would meet up again, it took about 5 seconds before everyone were spread out like a slightly less hyper kindergarten class. Whether it was to get first in line for the biggest rides there were, or to get a snack at the many dozen stands all over the place.

Instead of running away like everyone else, one group was walking slowly in a random direction instead to figure out where to go. Noelle and Diya in the back pretty much babysitting Min and Akarsha who were running around like 2 dogs who wanted to sniff at everything. While Diya was just following the flow and not having a clue where to go, Noelle had acquired a map to see what kind of attractions the park had to offer. 

“Hey guys, let’s go take railblazer, it’s like right ahead!” Akarsha nearly yelled in excitement. She was basically step-dancing on the spot waiting for the two “babysitters” to catch up.

“What the fuck is a railblazer?” Min asked not as hyper but was still very much ahead. Looking wildly around herself to spot something that could resemble a railblazer. To no luck of course.

“That thing right there, Sherlock!” The other girl said pointing up to a rollercoaster, just the sight made all three of her friends stop in their tracks, wide eyes staring between the so-called railblazer and Akarsha. 

“There’s no way we’re taking that!” Both Min and Noelle exclaimed in unison, which ended in angry staring at each other. A fraction of a second passed before Noelle looked back down at the map, to her great dismay Akarsha was serious, the railblazer was a thing. 

“Shut your fuck up there’s no way that clusterfuck is a fucking roller coaster!” Min yelled and looked at Akarsha as if she just suggested her to make out with Noelle. Her eyes were terrified.

“Dude, are you scared??” Akarsha grinned.

“No! You’re the scared one…Shut the fuck out!” Min yelled again, before chasing Akarsha. The whole scene probably looking insane to everyone they passed. Akarsha was just laughing her ass off and sprinting incredibly fast for wearing flip flops, the pebble running after her becoming slower the longer she ran. Eventually, Min gave up, coincidentally right in front of the railblazer. Her heart suddenly beat faster and she could feel her palms becoming sweaty. 

Diya slowly caught up, Noelle at her heels, and went up to Min. When grabbing her hand she could feel how nervous Min was. 

"You don't have to take it if you don't want to." She said quietly, looking at her girlfriend with a worried smile. Min looked up at her, first with a nervous smile but suddenly changing to an angry look. 

"I'm not some fucking weakling! Let's fucking go!" She screamed, not necessarily at anyone (especially not at Diya). Quickly as a wind, she was gone and over at Akarsha's side who was already in line. 

Akarsha dramatically acted shocked (badly) when she saw that Min actually caught up and wasn't a weakling. Min immediately started arguing, yelling stuff like: "only weaklings can't catch up to someone in fucking flip flops" and "fight me!" 

As they kept arguing Diya came along behind and eventually also Noelle. She kept a neutral face as she didn’t want to get in between the weird argument about weakness the two babies (Min and Akarsha) in front of her were having. Instead, she turned to Noelle, who to her surprisingly looked more stressed than usual. Though her expression was serious, her eyes gave it all away. 

Noelle looked up at Diya who was right beside her in line. She saw that her friend was giving her a worried expression. Suddenly she felt even more stressed than before, one thing was just stressing and being afraid, but seeing her best friend worried about her made it all worse. She cursed at herself for not keeping the emotions out of her eyes. 

It only took another moment before it was their turn in line, and what felt like a heartbeat before they were all seated on the rollercoaster. Akarsha decided to sit beside Noelle, the two love birds behind them. Great, now she had to be stressed and afraid, in front of Akarsha of all people. To the best of her ability, she tried to compose herself. Yet the moment an employee pushed down the restraining bars, she felt herself panic. Her heart almost jumping out and what felt like a rock was resting in her guts. Breath hitching in her throat and speeding up.

“No, I can’t do this get me out of this!” Noelle nearly cried, pushing at the restraints over her shoulders but of course to no use.

“Wow, Noelle are you scared?” Akarsha looked at her, actual concern in her eyes. Somehow it actually helped a little bit, but it couldn’t hide the fact that they were definitely about to die. 

“No...maybe…” The pale girl sounded like she tried to deny it, yet her voice gave it all away.

“Hey, Noelle, It’s gonna be awesome and you’ll be ok.” Akarsha tried to reassure her the best she could, to both their surprise she grabbed her  crush friend’s hand. 

“No, there’s no way this is going to be ok, physics somehow supports this but my body will not! Help me!” Noelle nearly yelled, her eyes starting to water, but she blinked it away. 

.

As the restraining bar went down over her shoulder, Min felt her whole body heating up, her breath quickening. She couldn’t speak, she couldn’t think. Her brain and eyes could only stare down the road and to the steepest rail she had ever seen. Hands clammy and heart rapidly beating in her throat. 

Her brain suddenly snapped out of the trance-like state she was in when she felt a hand swiftly grabbing and intertwining with her own. When she looked up, Diya had a concerned look. Her heart didn’t slow, yet more blood still found its way to her face.

“Try to breathe, Min, you’re gonna be ok. Think about cute dogs.” Diya said carefully but reassuringly, smiling down at her girlfriend. Squeezing her hand.

“No It’s not gonna be ok, nothing is gonna be ok when we’re on a rolling fucking death ri-” Min’s last word turned into a scream when the cart started rolling. It was much faster than she expected, yet probably not even close to how fast it will go later. From the front she could swear she heard another person scream as well, said person sounding a lot like Noelle. 

A painfully long minute and a half passed before they slowly rolled to a stop. Both Akarsha and Diya had smiles on their faces, still holding onto their friend/girlfriend’s hand. Though when they actually turned to look at the person they were holding, their face fell. Min and Noelle both had a tight grip on the shoulder bar and respectable partner’s hand, their knuckles white. Smaller amounts of tears were formed in their eyes. It took a few snaps in front of their faces to have them returned to reality. 

When the restraining bars got released, all parties were able to get up semi-normally, yet Diya decided to carry Min bridal style as her way of walking was unbalanced staggering. Min immediately rested her head on her girlfriend’s chest, finally able to breathe and relax. While still walking, Diya planted a quick smooch on Min’s head, her face sprinkled with crimson as she did so.

Meanwhile, Akarsha wanted to help Noelle in the same way too. Though her arms were nowhere close to being as strong as Diya’s, she offered Noelle a piggyback ride. The pale friend wanted to protest, but her whole self was shaky, so she eventually complied. As she leaned her head as close to Akarsha as she could and relaxed, she could swear she heard her whisper something along the lines of: “I got you, Noelle.” It was said in the sweetest tone she had ever heard from anyone. A careful blush and a smile made it to her face after that. 

The friend group was quieter now when they walked around the park. Eventually, they also split, each pair going in different directions to cheer up or talk to their respective partner. 

.

Diya’s arms eventually got tired so they swapped to piggybacking instead. Her girlfriend having no intention to complain about being carried. She just wanted to cheer up Min, and in that moment she had an idea. She started walking a bit faster. People around them were noisy, children laughing and screaming, friend groups speaking loudly. Yet Diya and Min were quiet, enjoying the somewhat silence they could achieve. 

“Where are we going?” Min asked, resting her chin on Diya’s shoulder. Her girlfriend was hesitant to answer, didn’t want to spoil anything.

“You’ll see.” Diya replied with an audible smile. Walking towards a circle of stands right in front of them. She eventually came to a halt in front of one in particular which by first sight had huge stuffed teddy bears hanging along the ceiling. Her eyes immediately got caught by a rather large porcupine plushy. 

On the other hand, Min first put her attention on the neatly stacked baseballs on the counter. Pyramids of bottles at the back of the stand for the balls to be used on. As if it was a stand selling knives or giving her an opportunity to threaten Noelle, she jumped down from Diya’s back and ran up to the counter. 

“You! Let me throw or else!” She angrily said, her hands prickling to pick up the baseballs. 

“That’ll be $1.50. If you manage to shoot down all three bottle stacks you get a price” A bored employee shared with a fake smile. Not moving from their stance leaned on the counter. Diya carefully placed the money on the counter without a word. The next millisecond Min had already thrown a ball hitting the middle of a pyramid. All bottles fell to the floor loudly. Surprisingly she was able to hit all the bottles perfectly, luck and baseball practice must have been on her side that day.

"Congratulations. What plushy would you like?" Min looked at all the plushies, then she looked at her girlfriend. Said girlfriend gave her a smile but kept eyeing the one porcupine plushy in the corner. 

"That one!" The small girl demanded, pointing aggressively at the grey, fluffy porcupine. And so she got the large plush toy without any other words needed. As soon as she got it and they started walking away to make space for other people, she held it up in Diya's direction for her to take it. Immediately her girlfriend got huge eyes and a grin plastered on her face as she carefully took the fluffy creature from Min's hands. 

"It's so soft.." Diya felt tears nearly forming in her eyes, her cheeks becoming so warm. At the sight Min's legs almost gave out. They almost actually did when Diya leaned down to plant a kiss on her cheek. 

.

  
  


Hey, Frenchman. I know what we can do!" Akarsha said in a grin as she continued walking, arms holding firmly around Noelle's legs to keep her up. 

"What?" Noelle asked and lifted her head up, looking at Akarsha then around her to see where they were.

"Let's go on the Ferris wheel!" Her speed steady, knowing exactly where she went. She looked over her shoulder to see Noelle's face for a second before looking forward again.

"That doesn't sound like a completely horrible idea."

Akarsha looks at the time, there's about an hour left of the field trip so they have plenty of time. When they get to the attraction, there are a lot fewer people than expected. Everyone is probably more about the fast and exciting rides rather than a slow Ferris wheel with not much to look at. Probably due to their lack of patience.

The wheel isn’t huge, yet not small either. Each car made almost entirely of glass to provide as much view around as possible. Colorful lights decorated the wheel and the top of each cart to create a beautiful light show, though it probably would be much prettier at night.

As the two girls enter their own car, Akarsha puts Noelle down on one of the cushioned seats before sitting down herself across from her. The car wasn’t really big so there also wasn’t much space between them. 

Noelle felt herself sink into the cushion, relaxing. Her eyes looked outside towards the water as the Ferris wheel turned slowly, their cart rising higher and higher in the air. Once in a while she looks over at Akarsha but averts her focus away just as fast.

“The water is so pretty, I like the ocean.” She said quietly, a tiny smile at her lips that she couldn’t hide. Akarsha turned to look at her, then back out the window.

“Me too,” Akarsha leaned back, still staring at the ocean. After a moment she turned her focus on Noelle.

“You know what else I like?” She grinned.

“What?” Noelle raised an eyebrow, bracing herself for something cheesy or stupid to escape Akarsha’s lips.

“Girls.” Akarsha said happily. The sudden comment left Noelle without words, looking at her confused for a while. A semi-awkward silence lying over the two girls. 

“Is- is there something you wish to-?” She asked eventually but quickly got cut off when Akarsha continued with her statement or joke or whatever.

“Fun fact did you know you are a girl?” Silence, unbelievable silence fell as Noelle tried to figure out what the hell just happened and what Akarsha just said. Did she say what she thought she said? No matter how hard she tried she couldn’t stop her face from becoming warm and red.

“What- yes- I- what are you..” She trailed off, looking nervously down on the floor. Suddenly Akarsha got up and sat down beside Noelle, taking her hand. Looking up at her pale friend she took a deep breath.

“I know that I could never be the girl of your memes, but I- I like you, Noelle. I really like you. Whenever I see you and think about you my whole soul is like… on fire, I’ve always tried to convince myself that It’s fine, but it’s not. I just...can't hide my feelings anymore, Noelle.” Holding Noelle’s hand she confessed everything that her heart has held onto for so long. Through all the meaningless conversations, stupid pickup lines, and moments spent together her feelings had only grown and become harder to hide.

When she had finished, silence fell again, yet the space was filled with a new kind of energy, a new kind of tension. Both girls looking at each other, hands squeezing each other, glances stolen at each other’s lips. Until suddenly one of them closed the space between them. Neither knew who it was, it just happened. Lips meeting each other with so much built up feelings that it took away their breaths. Noelle’s hands tangled into Akarsha’s hair, pulling her as close as she could and kissing her with everything she had. She felt arms around her waist, grabbing her shirt and tugging her closer to herself. When they pulled apart, breathless, they looked at each other with so much love, tears nearly building in the corner of their eyes. Just as fast as they had pulled away they dove right back in again, more frantically than before, both desperate to be closer to each other. Both wanting to melt into the other.

.

The day had to end eventually, much to the 4 girls’ dismay, they had to leave and go home. On the bus towards school, though noisy, there was a lovely atmosphere hanging over them. Noelle stared out the window, holding tightly onto Akarsha’s hand, her now new girlfriend sleeping on her shoulder. Her heart was beating steady, a constant smile planted on her lips. 

Behind them were the other two lovebirds, Min curled up on Diya’s lap, resting her head on her shoulder and quietly playing with the short fur on the porcupine plushie she won for Diya. Once in a while, a soft kiss was planted on her head, an equally soft blush spreading on both their faces.

Everything was good and everything was peaceful. Everything else could wait until they got home.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually did research on amusement parks and roller coasters in California and in general to write this. Still, I was disappointed when I had started writing and it turns out you don’t sit in pairs on the railblazer… oh well if the carts need double seats for that extra bit of gay and panic then there will be double seats for that extra bit of gay and panic. >:(
> 
> It is actually unbelievable how much random research I did for this, whether it was for prices for stuff, names of rollercoaster parts, or other stuff for this. I haven’t been at an amusement park in so long and I also have no idea how America works so there’s that lmao. 
> 
> The interaction between Akarsha and Noelle about liking girls and Noelle being a girl is from an Elsamaren post on “honeymarenrights” on Tumblr.  
> Also, the part about being the girl of her memes comes from “notahumanweirdo” on Tumblr.
> 
> Also, I know porcupines aren’t the cutest in the world but they are in their own way ok, they’re like an underrated hedgehog.
> 
> Also, I can’t believe how long just a fic about rollercoasters and gay babies turned out, I’m so proud.   
> Hope y’all enjoyed it! :P


	6. Reaching the end

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diya asked Noelle to meet her at the park, yet when she arrived there was no Diya in sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's fluff time! :P
> 
> Also, I feel like it's been an eternity since I updated this... it's only been like a week. When I get invested in a fic my brain is just "the sooner you post the better, need more gay now!"

Maybe it was the crickets chirping at every corner outside, maybe it was the birds singing in every tree, or maybe it was the amount of work she had done that day, whatever it was, Noelle was tired. For every page she flipped, for every word or number she wrote, her eyelids became heavier and her shoulders stiffer. For every thought about math equations and solutions to them, her head leaned further onto her hand. She suddenly heard a chime from another window on her laptop. When she opened the chatroom she was greeted by a very fluffy, smiling dog, also knows as Diya’s profile picture.

**Diya:** Hi ^-^

**Noelle:** Hello 

**Diya:** Can you meet me in the park?

**Noelle:** Why?

**Noelle:** Also, now?

**Diya:** I got my hand stuck in a pringles can .-.

**Diya:** yes 

**Noelle:** You are aware that I am the least qualified person to help you with that problem right?

**Noelle:** Why don’t you ask Min? 

**Diya:** But you’re smart

**Diya:** Pleaseeeeeeee ^-^

**Noelle:** ...

**Noelle:** Fine 

**Diya:** !!!

**Diya:** :D

Noelle’s parents were out visiting her grandparents, conveniently for her, this meant she could go out without making excuses. Closing her laptop, she got up and put her phone in her pocket before heading out.

The sun was casting its late rays onto the ground like a blanket, almost blinding Noelle as she went down the road towards the park. Her mind was still wondering why Diya wanted her to come in the first place, why her of all people when her hand was just stuck in a pringles can. Either way, she still kept walking. 

As she came closer to the park, the sun had gotten weaker and only covered a few patches of ground here and there. The park was thankfully an exception and could keep itself warm for a little while longer. She kept herself on the path but was naturally attracted towards the large oak on her right, she couldn’t explain it, there was just always something about that tree. 

And as it turns out, there was in fact something about that tree today. A familiar mix of bright colours sitting underneath it, seemingly waiting for something. For what Noelle didn’t know. Either way, she made her way towards her anyway, as Diya was nowhere in sight. The closer she got the more she found herself marvelling at the girl who sat in front of her, the usual buns taken out to let thin, dark brown waves flow down her shoulders and frame her face. Noelle noticed a crimson hue rising to her face at the sight of Akarsha quietly relaxing on a blanket, hand resting on a smaller picnic basket. Eyes looking over the grass and trees around her, yet when they spotted Noelle, they immediately lit up.

“Frenchman! Are you a large file? Cause you turn my floppy disk into a hard disk!” Akarsha grinned, looking innocently up at her girlfriend. Her smile immediately fell when Noelle turned around to leave again, a look of frustration painting her face.

“No, wait! Don’t go!” She was able to grab Noelle’s wrist. When the other girl turned, she was taken aback by the pleading look in Akarsha’s eyes. It took her a second to process but she eventually sat down, still looking sceptical but softer either way. 

“Where’s Diya? She told me to meet her.” Noelle crossed her arms across her chest, leaning back on the large tree. Her eyes focusing and getting lost on Akarsha’s features. 

“She’s not here, I asked her to text you cause I knew you wouldn’t willingly sneak out to meet me.” A hint of sadness lied in her voice as the brown-haired girl explained, dark eyes averting from her girlfriend’s gaze. The statement made Noelle tilt her head a bit in a curious manner.

“That depends on the situation... You underestimate my commitment though.” Akarsha looked up with a surprised expression at the last part, surprised in a good way. Her heart quickening by a little bit. A smaller grin making its way back to her lips. 

“I guess…,” 

“Anyways, It’s snack time!” Her grin is really up and running at this point. Hands made their way into the picnic basket to pull out several containers and thermoses, as well as cutlery for both of them. Noelle looked at all the food, then at Akarsha, lifting an eyebrow.

“I’m surprised you picked such bland foods.”

“Dude, you have the tastebuds of a toddler, you shouldn’t complain,” Akarsha reasoned, and she was right, Noelle had bland tastebuds, she didn’t like food that was overly… well, anything. 

“But, I did make something less bland you actually like.” She added before Noelle could protest. Opening a thermos, she revealed to Noelle a homemade oyster omelette. Despite Noelle’s seemingly happy reaction to it, she couldn’t help to feel nervous as it was homemade and she wasn’t that good of a cook. 

“You made me an oyster omelette?” Noelle asked, a warm feeling spreading inside of her, as well as a careful smile on her lips. This was especially because oysters weren’t that easy to find during this part of year. She slowly accepted the thermos, going in for a bite. Akarsha looked at her with a hopeful glint in her eyes.

“I’m not the best of cooks, but I really hope you like it... I even tried to hold back on the salt and-”

“It’s perfect.” Noelle stopped her mid-sentence, not wanting her to worry. A genuine smile lit up her face as she offered a bite to Akarsha. The brown-haired girl tried to keep her composure as her heart was doing backflips in her chest. It worked… kind of. 

.

Eventually, the two girlfriends finished their meal. The sun setting in the distance, birds settling down, crickets taking over.

Full and content, Akarsha packed everything back into the basket before sitting back onto the tree behind them, unfolding and placing a blanket over their legs. She couldn’t help but notice how close they were together. Thighs and shoulders touching. Hands quickly intertwining together. 

“How long until you have to go home again?” Akarsha asked, looking at her girlfriend. She was worried her answer was gonna be soon.

“A while, my parents are visiting my grandparents, they probably won’t escape that easily.” Noelle said, a content smile painted on. Her hand squeezing the other girl’s hand, pulling it up to her face and giving it a quick smooch.

Above them, stars had begun to twinkle and dance. Creating patterns and beautiful lights all over the dark sky. The light leapt around in their eyes, both of them sneaking glances at each other to catch a glimpse of the beautiful girl sitting right beside them. Akarsha’s heart skipped a beat when Noelle eventually rested her head on her shoulders. 

“Hey, Frenchman.” She mumbled, staring up at the sky. 

“What?” Noelle looked up at her, at least as much as she could. Curious as to what the pretty girl beside her would say. 

“I love you.” Three simple words, so few, yet enough to send her heart racing, her mouth into a wide smile, and her girlfriend’s hand up to her face to kiss it again. A chill breeze cooled down her face, yet was unable to change the warmth she felt in her whole being. She relaxed again, feeling Akarsha plant a soft kiss on her head before resting her own head on top of Noelle’s.

“Akarsha?” It all came out as mumbles.

“Hm?”

“I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all enjoyed this small fic!
> 
> I may make more in the future, but I'd have to find a great idea first. :/

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry about this, but I hope it wasn't garbage. Please leave a comment


End file.
